I have no idea where this one is going. I suspect that the only reason I’m writing on this subject at all is to see if it gets a reaction from the angry gay contingent around here. (Angry gay; didn’t that used to be an oxymoron?)
My girlfriend is a bit of a romantic (opposites really do attract) and she keeps this secret list of places she absolutely has to visit before we die. All of them happen to be near water because she loves the beach. One place that we’ve been going to for many years is Saugatuck, Michigan. If you live around Chicago you’ve probably been there. It’s got that Norman Rockwell, flag waving, ice cream cone charm about it. But not so much anymore. The gay flag has been planted in Saugatuck.
It began to change at least a decade ago, but very subtly. The difference is really only noticeable when the night life kicks in. During the day you’d hardly notice any difference at all, except for one thing. None of Rockwell’s paintings have the gay flag in them. But then I guess that’s the point of the gay flag isn’t it? It’s to remind us that were not in Kansas anymore. We’re being progressed.
About six years ago my girlfriend informed me she was ready to check off another of her romantic fantasies. So I packed my bags and soon found myself in Key West. And I must admit it was charming in its way. We visited Hemingway’s home and met his cats. We saw the chickens running loose all over the island and we visited Truman’s summer home. They had a “patrons’ naked” bar right downtown but we didn’t go inside. We saw and did many other things there. It really was a tourist attraction that had a lot going for it. But the gay flag had been planted there.
I guess I shouldn’t care that the gay flag flies over Key West but I know that flags convey a message. I don’t know a lot about Key West but I know that at least two flags already flew over it before the rainbow flag was planted; the U.S. flag and the flag of the Conch Nation. I don’t know the full story of the Conch Nation but it has to do with the drinking and partying mindset of the place. Some fun-lovers declared the island’s independence from the U.S. and the party hasn’t stopped since that day. I think that’s the gist of it anyhow. The point is that flags say something. The Conch flag says come and party. The U.S. flag says that the land beneath it is the property of the People of the United States. What does the gay flag say?
Last month we checked off another of Dumplin’s romantic get-a-ways. A week on Cape Cod. Hmmm. What’s so romantic about sand and fleas I’d like to know? For the first three days we holed up in Provincetown. As a matter of fact a whole lot of people were holing up in Provincetown. The gay flag was flying everywhere. You could not look in any direction from any point in Provincetown and not see a dozen rainbows or more. That’s when the message began to sink in.
Flags are not usually exclusionary. They don’t say keep out. What they say is that this is “our” ground and while you are here you will comply with our laws and customs. So I guess the message of all those flags in Provincetown is “gays welcome, all others will be tolerated if they follow our customs”. Not being gay I didn’t feel particularly welcome there, but then again they didn’t seem to mind me walking around with a woman on my arm either. Mostly I got the feeling that it was assumed we were passing through on the way to go whale watching. And, as a matter of fact, after we did go whale watching we did not linger to soak up the atmosphere. All in all I’d say that my Provincetown visit was more informative than I’d been expecting it to be but I never did figure out why my girlfriend was thinking it would be romantic in the first place. As far as charm goes it had none. Unless, of course, gay carnival is your thing.
I was tempted to be resentful that the gay community thought it could just take over one of America’s scenic wonders and plant their flags as though they’d conquered it. But I decided that such an attitude betrayed the spirit of the place. It was a rallying point for gay expression. A place where “the lifestyle” is celebrated. But the fact that it wasn’t exclusionary and that straights were welcome to come and ogle gave the new Provoncetown a signature feeling of its own. Even the fact that it was insanely liberal only added to the amusement because of its caricature in the extreme.
So that’s what I did this summer. And thank God that’s been checked off her list.
28 comments on What I Did This Summer
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Does the American flag celebrate only heterosexual Americans? No, it celebrates everyone. Living in Boston, I have been to P-town at least a dozen times in the last 20 plus years and have never experienced any animosity between people of heterosexual ORIENTATION and those of homosexual ORIENTATION. How many times do I have to tell you that gay is not a lifestyle-it's an orientation[MAD] and that like straight people, gay people are from all walks of life and live very different lifestyles. The flag just represents Pride for our community and a sense of community; it is not an anti-straight symbol man.
Maybe next time you and your lady love should stay in a nice little trailer park in Mississippi, Kentucky or Alabama; maybe then you'll feel more at home. You sound like a redneck when you write this shte, not like the academic you seem to want to portray yourself as. Your gf has good taste in everything but you btw...LOL. I love reading travel diaries but there was a lot more to the places that you mentioned than a "gay flag" and why waste time letting the fear of yourself possibly being gay consume you. You haven't pissed me off as a gay man. look at this and just see how you've lowered yourself again to redneck ignorance. You don't make me feel bad. It's like what whereabouts (in a different way) did resposting my messages-it's sad actually that you put such an intelligent mind into a bigoted article like that filled with such idiocy. You are much smarter than that Thomas ;--) [THUMBDOWN] Cheers, Bo
As for my 'lifestyle' reference I used it because it is a progressive code word that, as far as I can tell, means openly gay.
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
I have issues with both gay and straight people on this Blogster who are either fighting against tolerance and then post nasty and sarcastic responses to me or others, and those who are just plain bigots. I'm told to "grow up" at 44 years old by some redneck (not you btw obviously [LOL])
who probably has half the education I do and the none of experience of life through travel. People have no right to call others on the carpet. I'm sick of it and I'm not taking it anymore so for those of you who have a problem with me, F off anD stay away from me-I don't want to hear what you have to say ANYMORE [MAD][MAD]
Bo
I was not terribly offended by the rainbow flag because I understand that it symbolizes different things to different people who display it. I imagine that most people display it as a statement of personal pride. Great. Others, however, display it to offend or challenge a bigoted world.
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Haven't you noticed that liberal cluster near large bodies of water? Perhaps, you should ask your girlfriend what it is about liberals that she finds romantic? [WINK]
Never been to p-town & personally I think the flag is just a demonstration of open expression. Something which was dangerous for our community for years...
How about all the nongay resorts that banned, arrested gays for so many years?
I go to nongay resorts and don't feel 'threatened' or uncomfortable--why should a flag make you feel so 'unwanted'? Or do you think like a typical nongay man that all gay men want your body?[LOL][LOL]
And if New Orleans is a 'because of its caricature in the extreme.' as P-town to you--come on, almost bare women swinging out of bar doors.
Last but not least--we have had this discussion before and it was never answered--what is the differerence between a straight and gay 'lifestyle'?
I'm only slightly offended that you don't think I've been hit on by gay men. I never quite know how to react when that happens. In less liberated times gays knew they were taking their lives in their hands when they approached hostile straight men. May own reaction has been to laugh it off.
New Orleans is a carnival of debauchery for straights. P-Town is a carnival of debauchery for gays. That's the only difference I can see. I never condemned either of them.